登陆注册
1089100000022

第22章 过有意义的人生 (6)

亲人们总是将他们的问题在即将抉择的那刻提出,然后等待我给出建议。我不喜欢在这样的情况回答问题,假如说他们愈加僵化,那就等于说自己大无可用之处了。我尽可能地作出回答,并祈祷我的建议能对他们有所帮助。然而,我又怎能知道所有的事情?这和给女儿建议不同,给父母建议需要设身处地地思考。他们向我咨询,就是对我的信任,正如我一直相信他们那样。

我是一名高中老师,我的学生将会考入大学,或参军,或工作。每天,都会有学生问我如何规划未来之类的问题,而不是咨询如何学好功课。很多人还未意识到,高中毕业是人生的关键转折点之一。的确如此,这些年轻的孩子正在离开一个占据他们生命四分之三的时代。

因此,在他们离开校园的那一刻,我告诉他们,什么行业是朝阳行业,他们要服什么样的兵役,以便实现自己的梦想。有时,我只告诉这些年轻的孩子,生活是美好的,他们正幸运地处于人生最美好的阶段,即将长大成人,应该说是很幸运的。每次他们离开时,我都祈祷自己给予他们好的建议。我知道,我尽力了。

偶尔,素不相识的人也向我征求建议。学生家长常会问我,怎样做才会使孩子前途光明。有时也会问,怎样才能让孩子听他们的话或者相信他们。我想,他们之所以问我,是因为他们确信我知道答案,或者他们看到我的头发白了,胡子也白了,就相信我这个岁数足以解决这些问题。

韦氏关于“建议”一词的定义中最主要的问题是——没考虑建议者。给出建议的人理解这个问题吗?能帮忙解决吗?我给过女儿、父母、学生和陌生人正确的答案吗?

我觉得我该打电话给女儿了,向她征求些建议。

每个人都会有需要建议的时候。当他人出于信任向你请教时,要认真地帮助他,这种信任多么美好。当你需要帮助时,不要担心,一定有爱你的人随时准备替你分忧。

1. When my daughter was small I looked forward_________ giving her advice. In fact, I sincerely believe that she_________ enjoyed it. For the most important thing a Dad can do is get his child ready for life._________ that I ever thought I was ready but at least I have been able to survive my years, so far.

2. In fact, I am a high school_________ who works with young adults who are about to embark on careers that include college, the military, or_________. Every day I am asked questions concerning_________ they should organize for their futures, away from a life that centered on their public school.

1. 女儿小的时候,我渴望能给她建议。

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________

2. 让孩子对生活有所准备,是父亲最重要的事情。

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________

3. 偶尔,素不相识的人也向我征求建议。

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________

1. It was as though our separation necessitated that she would once again need, and seek out, my advice.

seek out:搜出;找出;想获得

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

2. In other words, it is a little quieter than a whisper.

in other words:换句话说,也就是说,换言之

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

生活态度最重要

One’s Life Attitude Is Important

拉塞尔?康威 / Russell Conwell

I was attending a seminar in Sydney in April and picked up a lecture note. In it was a reflection on “Attitude”.

Let me quote the anonymous writer:

“The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude, to me, is more important than fact. It is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than failures, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, intelligence or skill. It will make or break a company, a church or a home.

“The remarkable thing is that we have a choice every day regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is to play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude.

“I am convinced that life is 10 percent what happens to me and 90 percent how I react to it. And so it is with you. You are in charge of your attitude.”

This means that no matter what happens to you, it is how you react or respond to it that is important.

You can’t control or influence certain events in life—earthquake, sabotage, terrorist bombings, being struck by lightning, a freak traffic accident and so on. But you can control how you think and feel about such incidents, even when you are the unfortunate victim of an accident.

You can choose to moan and groan about your misfortune, about what you have lost physically or financially. Or you can choose to count your blessings that you are still alive, that you have most of your physical or mental faculties. A prolonged negative attitude would make you miserable and regressive whereas a change to a positive attitude would spur you to think of possibilities.

You could be taunted or discriminated against if you lost a leg, arm or an eye. You can’t help some insensitive people doing such things. If you fret over what is said and what has been deprived of you, does it make you any happier, determined, persevering or resourceful?

The right attitude to take is not to let insults, sarcasm, rudeness, ridicule or mockery bother you. Why respond negatively to such behaviours of other people? It doesn’t pay to strike back contemptuously at them. If you do, you are showing that you are emotionally weaker.

Show that you are emotionally stronger, that you do not have to trade insults with insults, that what they say or do does not bother you at all. Show the dignity that they do not have.

The pain is not in what the insensitive people say about you or do to belittle you. The pain is in how you interpret and react to such acts.

Very often, we negatively over-react to, or “read” too much into, what people say or do. It’s a case of seeing what we want to see, regarding an issue as big when it could really be insignificant.

Even if people in reality are downright inhuman, you can choose to ignore their behaviour or not view it negatively at all. That is real self mastery.

Losing a part of the body is not the end of life. It might be the end of a career that you were trained in and the beginning of a new career but again, it might not. If the famous Stephen Hawking can speak through a computer gadget, if a golfer can still play with a metal arm, then a trainer who loses both legs or arms can still find some other ways to teach.

When you lose hope, when you despair, when you blame people all the time, when you do not even want to try and persevere, then you choose to make life meaningless for yourself.

同类推荐
  • 享受一分钟的感动

    享受一分钟的感动

    本书截取了生活的精彩文章,其中亲情、友情、爱情故事以及励志等文章,能够使你享受生活快乐,体验人生意义的同时,让你树立信心,帮你克服人生路上的各种绊脚石。
  • 英文爱藏:转个弯人生更开阔

    英文爱藏:转个弯人生更开阔

    学英语不再枯燥无味——吴文智编著的《转个弯人生更开阔》内文篇 目均取自国外最经典、最权威、最流行、最动人的篇章,中英双语,适于 诵读,提升阅读能力;学英语不再沉闷辛苦——优美的语言、深厚的情感 、地道的英文,让我们在阅读这些动人的绝美篇章时,不仅能够提升生活 质量,丰富人生内涵,更能够轻松提升英文领悟能力,体味英文之……
  • 那些来自华尔街的赚钱经(每天读一点英文)

    那些来自华尔街的赚钱经(每天读一点英文)

    该丛书由美国英语教师协会推荐,特点有三:幽默逗趣,文字浅显易懂,让你笑着学英文!
  • 社会交往英语口语即学即用

    社会交往英语口语即学即用

    取材于人们所从事的社交活动的方方面面,范围广、实用性强。共包括7个部分:社交惯用语、家庭交往、社会生活、电话交往、商务交往、出行交往和社交语气。希望该书对具有中低层次英语水平的读者提高英语口语水平有所帮助。
  • 把沉睡的时光摇醒

    把沉睡的时光摇醒

    《把沉睡的时光摇醒》精选了梭罗、海明威、罗斯金、莫里斯、里尔克、笛福、兰姆、马克·吐温、托尔斯泰、毛姆、戴克、怀特、艾默生等50多位全球公认的文学巨匠,近百篇最美的散文,100多幅精美插画。全书精致雅美,传承名家之灵气,有如万般激流在心中翻涌,又似气吞山河的力量,抑或万物如谜般沉默静美,给人无限的想象和心灵滋养。
热门推荐
  • 这样记忆最高效

    这样记忆最高效

    有的人,大段文章看一两遍便能背诵,考前随便翻翻书就能拿到好成绩——这让我们既羡慕又嫉妒,从而怀疑自己的智商:“为什么我的记忆力这么差?为什么我没有这种超能力?”其实,归根到底,这是记忆方法的问题。没有方法,记忆就不快、不准、不牢。为了帮助广大中学生改变这种记忆现状,充分发掘自己的记忆潜能,轻松掌握高效的记忆方法,《这样记忆最高效》从兴趣、情绪、习惯、方法、环境等九个方面,归纳整理了中学生必须掌握的多种记忆方法,把学生从遗忘的痛苦中解救出来,为学习成绩的提高打下最坚实的基础。
  • 盛世中国:秦汉卷

    盛世中国:秦汉卷

    万里长城(2007年7月在葡萄牙首都里斯本被评为“世界新七大奇迹”之首)在北国边疆轰然矗立,巍峨如险峰,蜿蜒如巨龙,东起辽东,西临洮,形象庄严,气势磅礴,构成一道坚固、高大的藩篱,隔绝了境外的猎猎风尘和滚滚狼烟、凛冽寒潮和刀光剑影……
  • 阿月

    阿月

    阿月七岁前的生活一直很安稳。虽然出身寒门,可父慈母爱,日子平淡和睦。有一天,一个老人推开门扉,自称是她的祖父——当朝大将军。又有一天,亲娘告诉她:“穿越大神来寻,娘要回去了。”阿月大雾,这日子好像要翻天覆地了。简而言之,这是一篇无忧少女宅门记。
  • 明若晓溪(全三册)

    明若晓溪(全三册)

    活力四射的女生明晓溪在进入学院的第一天,就惹到了三个超级麻烦的美少年,当她将醉酒的冰救回公寓后,却被校报传为惊天绯闻,引来了冰的“未婚妻”的愤怒和挑畔,冰命令晓溪做自己的女朋友,并搬入她的公寓开始了所谓的“同居”生活……
  • 飞鸟集·新月集

    飞鸟集·新月集

    泰戈尔,印度著名诗人、作家,第一位获得诺贝尔文学奖的亚洲人。世界上最杰出的诗集之一,由名家郑振铎翻译,意境优美、文笔隽永。引领世人探寻真理和智慧的源泉。如同在暴风雨过后的初夏清晨,推开卧室的窗户,看到一个淡泊清透的世界,一切都是那样的清新、亮丽,可是其中的韵味却很厚实,耐人寻味。
  • 低碳经济报告

    低碳经济报告

    自2009年丹麦哥本哈根气候大会以来,低碳经济和低碳社会与概念开始在全球范围内传播,实现经济发展和社会运行的“低碳化”成为了新世纪全人类共同关注的话题。本书在概述人类对气候变化认知变迁的基础上,深入分析了低碳经济产生的现实背景以及国际社会的行动态势,对碳金融、碳交易、碳壁垒以及低碳技术、低碳城市、低碳社会等议题进行了专门论述。最后结合中国国情,提出中国经济社会实现低碳转型的主要对策。可供政府工作人员、高校师生及企事业单位人员参考。
  • 秦皇打工记:男卑女尊

    秦皇打工记:男卑女尊

    倒霉女梦瑶在她最倒霉的一天里,被恶少的宝马车在街头追逐,意外捡回家了个自称是秦王嬴政的男人,鼎鼎大名的暴君也要吃饭生存,于是被一个倒霉的小女人逼着开始了漫漫打工路。没有文凭又没有工作经验的皇帝处处碰壁,连到建筑工地上扛小工都做不好,最后只能回家给女人买菜洗衣做饭当男佣……当她送走暴君时,意外被卷到了公元前238年,风水轮流转,先是差点被暴君的夫人打死,接着差点被一场大火烧死,然后又被陷害是间谍,成了能预知未来的“巫女”……
  • 傻子王爷无情妃

    傻子王爷无情妃

    一只毒蝎子,彻底断送了她年轻的生命!别人只知道,那个软弱没主见的女人被迫嫁给一个痴傻呆闷的七皇子。殊不知,她早已不再是“她”!面对痴傻只会憨笑的美男,她气愤难填!你傻,本美女就医好你,谁知医好后,遭到嫌弃,却换来一纸休书,气愤之下,她恨不得与他同归于尽……
  • 月光蝶之恋

    月光蝶之恋

    月光蝶,是传说中的一种蝴蝶。传说她毕生的精力就是为了汲取那一点点月光,于是她向着月亮不停地飞,直到精力渐渐耗尽,死在蓝色的月光下……故事的主人公薇,就是这样一只拼尽全力寻找幸福的月光蝶。她年少时拼命追随着初恋枫,枫毕业后却远赴北京读研,与导师的女儿纠缠不清,在极度痛苦中,薇遇到了年少有成的浩,却也如飞蛾扑火一般。
  • 嫡女棣王妃

    嫡女棣王妃

    “姨娘,夫人似乎断气了~”“哼!这么一碗药都下去了,难道她还能活着不成?”“那这······”一个年纪稍长的人朝着这位称作姨娘的人示意了一下自己手中的婴儿,似乎有些犹豫,“这好歹是个男孩,现在夫人已经死了,如果姨娘把他占为己有,然后得了这府中的中馈······”“嬷嬷?!”女子也不等她的话说完,就打断了她,“你记住了,我恨死了这个女人,她的儿子,只能随着她去,我就是以后自己生不出儿子,抱养别人的,也不会要她的。把他给我扔马桶里面溺了,对外就说一出生就死了!”猩红的嘴唇,吐出来的话却是格外的渗人。嬷嬷还想说什么,动了动嘴,却是一句话也没有说,转身朝着后面放着马桶的地方走去。却是没有发现旁边地上一个穿着有些破旧的衣服的小女孩此刻正瞪大了眼睛看着她们两。这是什么情况?自己不是被炸死了吗?怎么会······于此同时,脑中不断有记忆闪现出来,她们是自己的母亲和刚出生的弟弟啊?!不行,先救人。转头看见旁边谁绣花留下的针线跟剪刀,想到自己前世的身手,拿起一根绣花针就朝着那个嬷嬷飞了过去,却在半路上掉落下来,暗骂一声,这人是什么破身体。却引得那两个人听见动静看了过来。女人阴狠的盯着她,“你居然没有死?”微微眯起眼睛,自己的前身也是被她们弄死的了,看样子她们谁也不会放过,抓起旁边的剪刀就冲了过去。随着几声惨叫声,从此以后,府中府外都传遍了她的“美名”——凤家大小姐心肠歹毒,刺伤了府中无数的人,宛如一个疯子。