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第28章 以爱之名 (1)

In the Name of Love

爱的体验是一种心理状态。

沉浸在爱里,

你会感到幸福快乐、生气勃勃、自由自在。

自我感觉良好,

生活就会非常美好。

当你把这种爱的体验带进生活时,

生活就会变得轻松自如,

充满喜悦。

婚?姻

On Marriage

卡里?纪伯伦 / Kahlil Gibran

Then Almitra spoke again and said, and what of Marriage, master?

And he answered saying:

You were born together, and together you shall be forever more.

You shall be together when the white wings of death scatter your days.

Ay, you shall be together even in the silent memory of God.

But let there be spaces in your togetherness,

And let the winds of the heavens dance between you,

Love one another, but make not a bond of love:

Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.

Fill each other’ s cup but drink not from one cup.

Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf.

Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone,

Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music.

Give your hearts, but not into each other’ s keeping.

For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts.

And stand together yet not too near together:

For the pillars of the temple stand apart,

And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other’ s shadow.

艾尔梅特拉再度开口问道:大师,和我们谈谈有关婚姻的事,好吗?

于是,他回答道:

你们一同出生,也将长相厮守。

当死神之翼驱散你们的日子时,你们也应在一起。

即使在上帝的记忆中,你们也将始终相守,

但是请在你们彼此的世界中保留一些空间,

好让空中的风在你们之间舞蹈。

彼此相爱,但不要让爱成为束缚,

让爱成为奔流于你们灵魂海岸间的大海。

注满彼此的杯盏,但不要只从一只杯中啜饮,

要将自己的面包赠与对方,但不是享用同一块。

两人一起欢歌曼舞,同享欢愉,但仍要各自保持自我,

就像琴上的弦虽为同一旋律而振动,但琴与弦也是彼此分开的。

奉献你们的心,但并不是要你们紧握住对方的心不放,

因为只有生命的手才能握紧你们的心。

应站在一起,但不要靠得太近,

因为廊柱分立,才能撑起庙宇。

橡树和松柏也不能在彼此的阴影下生长。

心灵小语

紧贴着的两个人只能僵立着,中间留有空隙,却能够舞蹈。留出空间,留住婚姻。

记忆填空

1. Love one____ , but make not a bond of love:

Let it rather be a moving sea____ the shores of your souls.

Fill each other’s____ but drink not from one cup.

Give one another of your bread____eat not from the same loaf.

2. Give your____ , but not into each other’s keeping.

For______the hand of Life can contain your hearts.

佳句翻译

1. 请在你们彼此的世界中保留一些空间,好让空中的风在你们之间舞蹈。

译__________________________

2. 彼此相爱,但不要让爱成为束缚。

译__________________________

3. 橡树和松柏也不能在彼此的阴影下生长。

译__________________________

短语应用

1. Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music.

even as:正如;正当

造________________________

2. For the pillars of the temple stand apart...

stand apart:站开;离开

造________________________

婚姻的最佳境界

Making Marriage the Best It Can Be

佚名 / Anonymous

“There are two kinds of marriages,”says Richard Exley, evangelist and author. “Bad marriages and hard marriages.”

Think about it: Weddings take men and women from different backgrounds and sometimes opposite temperaments, with various and unrealistic expectations, and put them together. The result? Often conflict, anger, disappointment and pain. There’ s no denying that marriage is hard or that any marriage can go bad. But bad marriages can be made better. It just takes a lot of work.

Marriage As We Knew It to Be

Raymond and I learned how hard marriage can be almost immediately — I started medical school just three months after our wedding. My class schedule, constant studying and clinical rotations limited our time together and strained our young marriage. The addition of our first child compounded the stress of residency. Then we assumed life would be easy if I practiced in a group with shared call.

However, two careers and two children — yes, we had another — were demanding. We were busy with church and short-term mission trips, and three of our parents died within 10 years. Life took a toll on us as individuals and as a couple; everything received more time and attention than our relationship.

We read several excellent books on marriage written by respected and knowledgeable Christian authorities. Each explained exactly what was wrong and how to fix it. But when we put the principles into practice, we’ d get ahead only a little before we got stuck in the same old patterns. Every time we tried and failed made it harder to begin again.

We did not communicate well. Both Raymond and I believed the other didn’ t hear or understand what we thought or felt. There was little overt conflict, yet little emotional intimacy. Issues went unresolved, as did our anger, which led to chronic resentment. Though we were both committed to our marriage, it lacked its original passion, and we longed to regain it.

But how?

Marriage As We Hoped It Could Be

We found an answer when we attended a Christian Medical & Dental Society conference. Drs. Alan and Claudia Nelson talked about the problems physicians’ marriages face and described Regeneration, the counseling retreat they conduct near Aspen, Colo. It sounded like what we needed, so we agreed to go. The first date that fit our schedule was eight months away. Even though I doubted those 10 days would change our relationship, I thought a vacation in Colorado could be fun and relaxing and maybe that would help.

The retreat included group sessions and counseling, both as individuals and as a couple. The other attendees were very congenial; we all were there for similar reasons, so no one hesitated to speak freely about his or her problems. Everyone was supportive and caring, and camaraderie developed quickly.

The Nelsons focused on the "three Cs"— communication, conflict resolution and commitment — and encouraged us to make marriage and family our first priorities instead of allowing our work to take over our schedules. Marriage needs both emotional and sexual intimacy, they explained, and partners cannot afford to neglect either one. Infidelity usually occurs because spouses look away from each other to have these needs met. Time for meaningful conversation and sexual relations will not happen regularly unless a couple plans for them. As Alan emphasized, “If you were having an affair, you would find ways to be together.”

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