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第9章 段落写作(The Paragraph)(3)

5. It is easy to find an apartment in Los Angeles. Actually, it is very convenient for people to live in a city if it is easy to find an apartment there.(yes)

6. There are also crimes and gangs in Los Angeles. This is the negative aspect of Los Angeles. (no)

7. You have to own a car. It is not really an important factor for the topic sentence. Usually, if you have own a car in a city, it may imply the inconvenience of that city. (no)

8. Los Angeles has easy access to Mexico and Latin America. It is very good for people to stay in Los Angeles which shows that it is a nice city to live. (yes)

9. You can choose from many universities and colleges. That shows city"s education level. (yes)

10.The 1984 Olympics were held there. It is not a really important factor to the topic sentence. (no)

可见2、6、7、10 内容可以删去,因为它们要么和主题句不一致,要么是主题句的不利条件。故1、3、4、5、8、9观点保留为写作的内容:

1. nice climate

2. beaches are close

3. diverse multicultural population

4. easy to find an apartment

5. easy access to Mexico and Latin America

6. many colleges and universities to choose from

五、撰写段落提纲(Arranging Ideas in a Plan)

写作内容选定后,把被选的内容写成提纲并充实具体细节。

Topic sentence: Los Angeles is a pleasant place to live

I. Great climate

A. always sunny

B. seldom rains

II. Convenient living condition

A. close to beaches

B. easy access to Mexico and Latin America

C. easy to find an apartment

III. Diverse multicultural population

A. people from all over the world

B. Many ethics restaurant

IV. Many colleges and universities to choose from

A. private colleges

B. community colleges

C. state colleges

Concluding sentence: Los Angeles is a city with a lot to offer, and it is a nice place to live.

六、撰写和修改段落(Writing and Revising the Paragraph)

提纲写好后,下一步就是初稿的撰写。对作者来说务必牢记,初稿只是草稿决非最后的稿子,作者应该依据提纲认真修改和充实。仍然以Topic sentence: Los Angeles is a pleasant place to live为例,根据提纲我们可试写如下:

Los Angeles is a pleasant place to live. The climate is really great. It is always sunny and seldom rains. In addition, living there is very convenient. The beaches are close and it has easy access to Mexico and Latin America. Another great thing about the city is its diverse multicultural population. People from all over the world, including many Latin American and Asian countries live in Los Angeles. Therefore, you can find many ethic restaurants there. In Los Angeles, there are also many colleges and universities raging from state colleges to private ones. There are also some community colleges, too. In brief Los Angeles is a city with a lot to offer, and it is a nice place to live.

当把文章初稿完成后,应该反复阅读并带着问题去修改完善。可以依据下列问题去发现错误并加以修改。这样,不仅能提高作品质量,长期坚持还能养成好的写作习惯。

1. Does it have a clear, complete and limited topic sentence?

2. Do the supporting sentences fully explain and develop the topic sentence?

3. Are the sentences are varied enough to avoid boredom?

4. Are the words clear, concerted, and vivid?

5. Are there any grammar, spelling, and punctuation error?

6. Are you satisfied that this is your best job you can do?

(第二节)段落内部基本结构

一、基本布局

段落是一组和同一主题关系密切的句子集合,段落大多包括三类句子: 主题句、扩展句和结尾句,其布局对初学写作的人来说可以遵循下图:

Topic sentence Supporting sentence 1Supporting sentence 2Supporting sentence 3Concluding sentence e.g. There are three reasons why John is not going to university. Firstly, his family is quite poor, and his four young brothers and sisters are still at school, he feels that he should help his family financially as soon as possible. Secondly, if he went to university, his mother would be let alone to look after the young children. Finally, he has been offered a good job with excellent chances of promotion. Consequently, although he wants to go to university very much, John is going to take the job instead!

From Paragraph Writing, by Frank Chaplen

Qs:

1. What is the topic sentence?

2. How many supporting sentences are there?

3. Is there a concluding sentence? And where?

二、主题句(Topic Sentence)

主题句的写作要注意两个基本要求:第一是要包含主导思想(the controlling idea),第二是要做到概括和具体的统一。例如,我们不能说:“We had a pleasant summer vacation but summer vacation always seems short.”。画线部分不统一。

在具体的写作中,最容易出现的现象就是主题句过于概括的现象。请看下面的病例:

I want to talk about my father. He is strict with his children, especially me. He won"t let me out of the house unless I"ve done all my homework. He is a tall and rather skinny man. Some people say he is goodlooking. He has a nice streak of gray in his hair. He laughs a lot and enjoys life. My father is interesting.

三、扩展句(Developing Sentences)

从段落的推展过程说,第一个步骤是写主题句,第二个步骤将是写扩展句。例如,你要陈述你选择某院校的理由,第一步,写出主题句:There are two main reasons why I have decided to attend Bingston University next year.第二步,以数个理由推展你的主题:

示范段落

①There are two main reasons why I have decided to attend Bingston University next year.②First of all, there is the question of money:Bingston"s tuition is reasonable and I don"t even have to pay it all at once.③This is very important, since my father is not a rich man.④With Bingston"s “deferred payment plan,” my father will be able to pay my tuition without too much difficulty.⑤The second reason is the fine education which I feed will receive there in agriculture,my chosen field.⑥It is a well-known fact that Bingston hires only the finest professors in its Agriculture Department.⑦Moreover,the university requires all agricultural students to get practical experience by working on farms in the area while they are still going to school.

分析,细节: two main reasons:

理由1:financial consideration②

a.reasonable tuition③

b.deferred payment plan④

理由2:quality of education⑤

a.fine teachers③

b.practical experience⑦

在两个主要理由之下,作者用更小的细节支持它们。由此可见,段落的推展依赖于支持主题句的细节(details)。推展段落的方法很多。通常每个段落以一种方法为“支配方法”(the dominant method),必要时,可运用其他一种或数种方法作为“辅助方法”(the supporting method)。上面的示范段落使用因果法(cause-and-effect)作为支配方法,分类法(division and classification)作为辅助方法。作者还运用了“重要性排列顺序”(the order of importance)作为安排细节、组织段落的手段。我们将在以下各单元逐个讨论这些方法。

扩展句(supporting sentence),就段落内部句子关系,扩展句和主题句之间至少要注意以下两点:第一,意义的相关性(unity);第二,逻辑的一致性(coherence)。务必注意下列病例现象:

1.跑题

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