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第64章 日常礼仪Daily ceremony(2)

The western visitor who intends to depart may explain that something in his or her own personal situation compels the departure. Someone may say, for example,“I’ve got to study for my chemistry test tomorrow, so I’d better be going.”When a Chinese offers a reason for leaving, it is unlikely to be related to his or her personal situation. What one usually says is often related to the other person’s needs, such as,“I won’t take up any more of your time”or“I’m sorry that I’ve wasted so much of your valuable time.”

As a western leaver is actually leaving, the host accompanies him or her to the door and may even step outside to offer a farewell wave as the visitor goes away. However, a Chinese host commonly accompanies a guest out of the door and for some distance, while continuing to talk. The distance that the host accompanies a guest is a sign of the respect shown by the host.

8.中国人是如何回答赞美话的?

How do Chinese respond to a compliment?

Chinese is unlikely to respond to a compliment with thanks or any other acknowledgement of its validity. One rather responds with a certain mood of self-depreciation. For instance, if a foreigner says to his or her interpreter,“Your English is very good,”a typical reply is bu hao, bu hao (不好,不好) or na li na li (哪里,哪里), meaning“Oh, no! My English is poor.”

Chinese expressions of modesty can be seen everywhere.

When one is invited to a Chinese home for dinner, one finds the table overflowing with six to eight dishes, beautifully presented. But host or hostess is likely to say,“We hope you won’t mind joining our simple meal. We are not good at cooking, so we have only prepared a few dishes this evening.”Chinese habitually say things to suggest that their creations, family members or themselves are of small value. This may lead you to conclude that you should offer no compliments to Chinese acquaintances. But that is not correct. Chinese like to receive compliments just like anyone else; they merely respond to them differently.

Notes:1)unlikely不太可能的;2)acknowledgement致谢;3)interpreter译员;4)modesty谦逊;5)overflow使涨满;6)compliment赞美的话

9.你可以告诉我一些中国人表现谦虚的其他方式吗?

What are other behavioral features of Chinese modesty?

Traditional Chinese values require a person who wishes to make a favorable impression to avoid being self-assertive. Consequently it is wise to be modest about own personal ability and experience. When Chinese meet for the first time in a social situation, they tell each other their names and identify their work units, but they seldom reveal their titles or positions in their work units. It is unusual for a Chinese to list his or her title or similar information below the signature. Now, Chinese increasingly use business cards that include such information. Cards are exchanged at many social gatherings.

Being a good listener is considered good manners. Young Chinese listen to their elders and speak little, thus showing modesty and good manners. In the same way, subordinates show respect to their supervisors.

During conversations, Chinese can keep silence for a much longer time than Westerners, and juniors wait for their seniors to finish speaking. Discomfort occurs if a junior speaks out of turn.

When a large number of Chinese prepare themselves for a group photograph, all understand that the front row, especially the center-front, is the place of honor. Even senior persons try to be away from the front row in attempt to display proper modesty. After some good-natured scuffling and earnest appeals from juniors, the situation resolves itself properly.

Notes:1)signature签名;2)supervisor管理人;3)scuffle扭打;4)self-assertive自作主张的

10.什么是“关系”?

What is guanxi?

The word guanxi (关系) has no precise English equivalent. It is literally translated as“relationship”or“connection,” and technically, it stands for any type of relationship. In the Chinese business world, however, it is also understood as the network of relationships among various parties that cooperate together and support one another. The Chinese business mentality is very much“You scratch my back, I’ll scratch yours.”

Developing and nurturing guanxi requires time and resources. Chinese and Western cultures conduct business differently, even if, on the surface, transactions seem the same. Chinese prefer to work with persons they know and trust. This relationship extends between companies and also between individuals at an ongoing personal level. With manners, diligence, courtesy and goodwill, one constructs his or her own web of supporting relationships.

Guanxi can take on many forms. It does not have to be based on money. It is completely legal in their culture and not regarded as bribery in any way. Trustworthiness of both a company as a whole and individual is an important component, and following through on business promises is an essential indication.

Notes:1)technically技术上;2)scratch搔;3)transaction办理;4)bribery行贿;5)courtesy礼貌

11.为什么“面子”对中国人来说非常重要?

Why does face have a great importance for Chinese?

Sociologists know that the concept of face is a universal concern of human beings, but it has particular social significance for Chinese. There is a Chinese proverb that says,“A person needs face as a tree needs bark.”There are several reasons. Over the centuries, many people in China have seldom moved away from the location of their birth. They spend their entire life in the company of the same friends, neighbors and relatives. Face-saving behaviors are necessary to maintain harmony, avoid conflicts and protect the integrity of the group.

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