Do you have such kind of experience? In a bus you may look at a stranger, but not too long. And if he is sensing that he is being stared at, he may feel uncomfortable.
The same in daily life. If you are looked at for more than necessary, you will look at yourself up and down, to see if there is anything wrong with you. If nothing goes wrong, you will feel angry toward other’s stare with you that way. Eyes do speak, right?
Looking too long at someone may seem to be rude and aggressive. But things are different when it comes to stare at the opposite sex. If a man glances at a woman for more than 10 seconds and refuses to avert his gaze, his intentions are obvious, that is, he wishes to attract her attention, to make her understand that he is admiring her.
However, the normal eye contact for two people engaged in conversation is that the speaker will only look at the listener from time to time, in order to make sure that the listener does pay attention to what the former is speaking. As for the listener, he will to a certain extent look continuously at the speaker, to tell him that he is attentive.
If a speaker looks at you continuously when speaking, as if he tries to dominate you, you will feel disconcerted. A poor liar usually exposes himself by looking too long at the victim, since he believes in the false idea that to look straight in the eye is a sign of honest communication. Quite the contrary.
In fact, continuous eye contact is confined to lovers only, who will enjoy looking at each other tenderly for a long time, to show affection that words cannot express.
Evidently, eye contact should be done according to the relationship between two people and the specific situation.
我们的眼睛能准确地传达一些信息,所以人们常说,眼睛会说话。
你有过类似的体验吗?在公共汽车上,你可能会看着一个陌生人,但时间不会太长,而且,如果他感觉到有人盯着他,会觉得浑身不自在。
日常生活中亦如此,如果别人一直盯着你看,你就会不由自主地审视自己,看看是不是有什么地方弄错了。如果一切正常,你就会对别人的这种盯梢很气愤。眼睛确实能说话,不是吗?
过久地盯着别人看会给人一种粗鲁和侵犯的感觉,但异性之间的凝视就不同了。如果一个男人盯着一个女人超过10秒钟,还不想挪开视线的话,他的意思就十分明显了——他想引起她的注意,让她知道他爱慕她。
正常情况下,两人交谈时,目光接触能传达这样的意思:说话者偶尔看看听者,以此确认听者是否在认真倾听;而对于听者来说,他会一直看着说话的人,以此告诉他,自己正专心致志地听着。
假如与你说话的那个人直直地盯着你,好像要镇住你似的,你便会感到惶恐不安。通常,说谎者往往就是看别人的时间过长,而使人起疑。因为他们以为直视别人的眼睛是诚实沟通的表现,结果恰恰相反。
实际上,长时间地相互凝视仅适合情人之间,他们喜欢温柔地对视,用目光来传达言语无法表达的爱意。
显然,目光交流应该根据双方的关系和特定场合来进行。
心灵小语
我们每天说很多话,用来互相交流。有的时候,不得不承认,一切语言都不及一个眼神能恰到好处地表达我们的意思。言语可能会撒谎,但是眼睛永远不会,它才是我们内心最忠实的呈现者。
记忆填空
1. Do you have such____of experience? In a bus you may look at a stranger, but not too____. And if he is sensing that he is being stared at, he may feel____ .
2. But things are____when it comes to stare at the opposite sex. If a man glances at a____for more than 10 seconds and refuses to avert his gaze, his intentions are__ , that is, he wishes to attract her attention, to____her understand that he is admiring her.
小试身手
1. 我们的眼睛能准确地传达一些信息。
译__________________________
2. 过久地盯着别人看会给人一种粗鲁和侵犯的感觉。
译__________________________
3. 目光交流应该根据双方的关系和特定场合来进行。
译__________________________
短语应用
1. If a man glances at a woman for more than 10 seconds and refuses to avert his gaze...
refuse to:拒绝;不愿;不肯
造________________________
2. ...that is, he wishes to attract her attention...
attract one’s attention:吸引某人注意
造________________________
爱的两个世界
The Lover and the Beloved
卡森?麦卡勒斯 / Carson McCullers
First of all, love is a joint experience between two persons—but the fact that it is a joint experience does not mean that it is a similar experience of the two people involved. There are the lover and the beloved, but these two come from different countries. Often the beloved is only a stimulus for all the stored-up love which has lain quiet within the lover for a long time hitherto. And somehow every lover knows this. He feels in his soul that his love is a solitary thing. He comes to know a new, strange loneliness and it is this knowledge which makes him suffer. So there is only one thing for the lover to do. He must house his love within himself as best he can; he must create for himself a whole new inward world—a world intense and strange, complete in himself. Let it be added here that this lover about whom we speak need not necessarily be a young man saving for a wedding ring—this lover can be man, woman, child, or indeed any human creature on this earth.
Now, the beloved can also be of any description. The most outlandish people can be the stimulus for love. A man may be a doddering great-grandfather and still love only a strange girl he saw in the streets of Cheehaw one afternoon two decades past. The preacher may love a fallen woman. The beloved may be treacherous, greasy-headed, and given to evil habits. Yes, and the lover may see this as clearly as anyone else—but that does not affect the evolution of his love one whit. A most mediocre person can be the object of a love which is wild, extravagant, and beautiful as the poison lilies in the swamp. A good man may be the stimulus for a love both violent and debased, or a jabbering madman may bring about in the soul of someone a tender and simple idyll. Therefore, the value and quality of any love is determined solely by the lover himself.